Tomorrow is one of two days I dread most each year. Call-backs for the next play. We've had auditions and now I'm having each student come back to read for specific roles from the play.
I really dislike this part of my job. In a way, it's exciting to see the final cast list emerge. It's very obvious who should play each role--only on very rare occasions is there any doubt. The difficulty is not in discerning who should be in which roles, but knowing how disappointed and hurt some of the kids will be. Yes, it's part of life. Yes, it's the way theatre goes. Yes to all the disclaimers and provisos one can add. But I still hate it. I imagine that a nurse who gives a baby a shot understands that the shot is beneficial--but I assume (I hope) that the nurse still flinches a bit at the thought of inflicting a bit of pain on a baby--even when it's well-intentioned and healthy in the long run. That's how I feel. It is difficult for me to express how much I love my students and how deeply I care for them. Being the agent of disappointment--especially when I know the sting of that disappointment from my own time as a performer--is hard. There will be parents who grumble, complain, and shun me. Meh. That's not exactly pleasant, but my emotional skin is pretty well calloused to that sort of thing and I don't lose sleep over it. But the thought of my students being hurt or disappointed--that I do lose sleep over. Painful though it is, this process reminds me of something each time I go through it. I have learned that I cannot make a student into a leading role, no matter how badly I want them to have it. No matter how much I love them and am rooting for them, there is no way I can make someone into Dorothy or Annie or Tevye if they aren't qualified. They either are or they aren't. I'm the judge and have the final say, but really, all I do is validate and make de facto what is de jure. The student is either ready and able or not and all I do is recognize the level of their ability. I have a feeling that this is fairly close to the final judgment. God will not judge us, as much as recognize, and help us see, who we are and who we have become by the choices we've made and the things we've done. I add to that one further observation. There are a very few students who are brilliantly talented and simply get leading roles based on their brilliance. But that is exceedingly rare. Usually, kids who get the big roles are kids who have worked hard for years. They've taken lessons and gone to camps. They've been in other plays and they've honed their talents through time, experience, and instruction. This combination is hard to beat. Another important lesson, I think.
7 Comments
theatermom
5/18/2011 01:15:40 pm
One thing to remember....unlike a shot which is not an option for the patient... these kids very rarely get the part they want, and yet they come back year after year after year. Whether they realize it or not, the love and appreciation of the experience is what brings them back..not the part. The disappointment lasts a day. The experience lasts a lifetime.
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I also think it's important to remember that true character is built by both positively reinforcing experiences, and those experiences where we feel disappointment as well. There are a handful of disappointments that I experienced as a youth that still sting when I think of them, even now twenty years later. But, I know that enduring through those moments helped shape and define the kind of person that I am. No one, no matter there talent and ability will go through life with only highs and no lows. Even still, I wouldn't want this part of your job either.
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I completely agree. Although I do have one of those talented kids, I also have two who do not work as hard and do not try quite as much. Now that can be really hard when the time comes for parts as I totally do not compare them to their sister. I just love them through the pain and pray that they will have an amazing experience. To me, it really is not ever about the part. It is about the child and learning that you can love what you get maybe even more than if you had gotten exactly what you wanted. I know that I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for many of the seemingly unanswered prayers of my youth.
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Jo
5/19/2011 08:13:21 am
Braden, I just love the way you care so deeply for these kids. I'm not sure how common that is (especially in junior high!), but I'll bet not very. They are very lucky kids.
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Heidi Ashworth
5/19/2011 12:44:14 pm
I can certainly understand why it would be hard. Of the flip side, my 16 year old daughter is playing Buffy in a school film for Art Academy and I suspect they have chosen a replacement because they keep giving her the wrong time for filming. Since she's Buffy (as in, the Buffy) I assume someone else has stepped into the role and no one wants to tell Mary. I guess she'll figure it out when she sees the final cut.
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Melanie Jacobson
5/20/2011 03:20:51 am
Yeah, I had the teensiest, tiniest taste of this with our recent road show. And the kids didn't even care. They were fine with whatever we did because they're great kids, but I still worried. I can see why this would be tough for you.
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I would really hate this job, and thankfully, I have never had to do it.
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