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Be Nice to Your Bishop/President

7/30/2010

12 Comments

 
Mormons, wherever you are, can we talk?  Let's talk about this whole lay clergy thing.  Consider your bishop, or say, a a member of your stake presidency.

Here's a guy who has a lot of responsibility, even power.  Something in us as humans, especially in  egalitarian Americans makes us want to knock the powerful off their pedestals, bring them down to earth.

For example, we have a teacher at school who just loves to find ways to embarrass the headmaster.  Nothing major, just take him down a few pegs.  In fact, she seems to think it's her mission and comes up with all kinds of mildly humiliating things for him--usually silly skits at faculty events or in her classroom.

I've noticed that we do this in the Church a lot to our local leaders--everything from teasing to more advanced hijinks.  And I don't think there's anything wrong with that per se.

But I have a few thoughts to toss out there.  First of all, our headmaster applied for the position.  It's his job and I assume that he's well compensated.  Local priesthood leaders are exactly opposite. They did not apply, did not seek the job, and are not compensated.  Frankly, they often do not want their callings. They give up most of their discretionary time and make huge sacrifices in order to respond to a call they believe is from God. 

They have jobs and families.  Like you, they have bad days and they get tired.  They have problems at work, they have problems with their children. Their lawns need to be mowed, their kids have ball games, they have a spat with their wife...regular stuff that everyone does.

Let's just say that a hypothetical local priesthood leader goes to a Church event--a ward party, for example.  He's tired.  It's been a rough week.  He's struggling with some concerns.  Nothing major, nothing anyone knows about--but he's feeling weighed down by car repairs and impending orthodontic treatments.  He's been away from his home every night this week to do Church work and he hasn't seen his small children in days.  He has some big deadlines coming up at work and he isn't sleeping well.

Now, let's say that the party features a talent show and the organizers have planned a special surprise.  The local priesthood leader is going to arrive and be expected to be in a silly skit--nothing awful, but something that will be a bit embarrassing/uncomfortable--something like a pie in his face while he wears a silly costume, or getting doused with water.  No one asks him beforehand if he's game--it's just an expectation. He's either tricked into doing it without knowing the full deal, or it's sprung on him right there.

What should he do?  He wants to be a good sport, but he just doesn't want to play tonight.  On another night, he might be game.  Or not--he might be a quiet, introverted guy who simply doesn't enjoy doing things like this. 

Of course, he HAS to go along with it.  If he doesn't, then everyone will think he's stiff and stuffy and a bad sport and probably holier-than-thou.  He reaches past the fatigue and tries to respond as graciously as he can.

Everyone laughs and loves seeing him playing the fool.  They all say, "Bishop so-and-so is such a good sport."  A few people say, with an edge in their voice, "Wow, I didn't think you ever took off that shirt and tie.  About time you finally unwind a little" (like he wears that for recreational purposes, because he wants to).  A good time is had by all, except him. 

He'll get over it.  People have worse problems, for sure. But there is something that seems unkind in this situation.

We essentially expect our leaders to be whatever we want, whenever we want.  A spiritual giant when we need a blessing or help.  A fun-loving fool when we want to do silly skits.  A calm and steady presence who's available when tragedy strikes. 

But a leader is human and we have to remember that.  He doesn't have fewer burdens and problems than we have in his personal life.  In fact, he has as many or more because the Lord is constantly refining, testing, and teaching him to be worthy of his position.  Plus, he has his Church stuff.
 
In my experience, our leaders are happy to give as much as they can--and more.  But we have to remember their fundamental humanity.  Sometimes maybe we need to be the good sports and be gracious enough to cut them some slack.
12 Comments
Melanie J
7/30/2010 08:26:16 am

Oh, but you're not talking about MY bishop, right?

Wow, Braden. Food for serious thought.

Reply
Tauna
7/30/2010 08:39:06 am

As a recently released bishop's wife all I can say is AMEN.
He's so busy right now I have no idea how he did it all, but somehow he seemed to be able to make it seem effortless.

Reply
Kristina P. link
7/30/2010 09:09:48 am

Great post, Braden. I agree with Melanie. Food for thought.

I have to admit, my branch president is a bit of a doofus. He's always sticking his foot in his mouth. But I think he's a good man, with a good heart.

Reply
MommyJ link
7/30/2010 09:26:58 am

My husband is currently serving in the branch presidency of our branch... over Christmas, our branch president was out of town for six weeks, so Josh took over. Holy cow, did our phone ever ring off the hook. I could literally see the heaviness of responsibility on his shoulders. We joke about it now... the fact that in the first week of his temporary stewardship, someone's house burned down. Literally. Talk about baptism by fire... ha, ha ha, ha HA HA.

(not funny, J, not funny)

Okay, where was I?

I agree with you... priesthood leaders should not be held to standards of perfection. They are only human. I appreciate this post, especially since I know you've been there.

Reply
Melissa Catmull link
7/30/2010 10:03:40 am

I totally need to print this out and read it at the pulpit! Our BFF was made bishop a year ago, and we are seeing FIRST HAND how much that poor guys does for our ward, and yet he is the first one to get criticism. Great post!

Reply
Serene link
7/30/2010 10:27:40 am

Well, I happen to know which bishop you're talking about, and I hope he knows what a great guy he is. I'm thinking I'll put a good word in for him tonight for some extra blessings.

My dad was bishop when I was a kid. He had eight children and no job because he was going to school full-time. And while I obviously didn't understand much about what a bishop had to deal with, I do remember people coming over to chew him out in our home, or I'd see him holding the phone away from his ear while someone railed on him.

I never really understood the need people have to make others feel bad.

And yes, I think people should stop and think before asking someone to do something in the name of "fun". There needs to be a certian level of respect that should always be held.

Always.

Reply
Lara link
7/30/2010 11:06:23 am

Excellent post, Braden. I wholeheartedly agree.

Might I add that we need to respect our leaders' time as well, and not bother them about super trivial things? When Joel was in the bishopric, he got an amazing amount of phone calls from people looking for somebody's phone number. And I know the bishop always got those calls, too.

I'm pretty sure there are other ways to come up with that information without bothering somebody who has a lot of other things to worry about. Like, maybe a phone book? :)

Reply
DeNae link
7/30/2010 12:52:22 pm

We've already discussed this topic at lenght, so I'll just add my 'amen' and also a reminder that we don't know what the bishop knows about the ward, and as such we need to be careful about treating lightly his counsel.

Brigham Young said that when a person begins to criticize his leaders - and I would add "attempt to make them look foolish, or otherwise undermine the solemnity of their calling" - that man puts his feet firmly on the path to apostacy.

I absolutely believe this is true.

Reply
jo
8/1/2010 09:10:07 am

This is so true and so well said that it almost hurts. Could we please make it required reading for every Church member in the world?

Reply
Sue Anderson link
8/3/2010 04:31:00 am

I love this post. And I totally agree with it.

(That may be because my husband is currently serving as bishop.)

;)

Reply
Charlotte link
8/4/2010 08:36:35 am

I have only lived in places at longest 3 years so I have never had much experience with knowing the bishop as anything but The Bishop. I wonder if seeing someone I am friends with called as a bishop would change my perspective? Maybe I should try living somewhere long enough to find out?

I agree that people are quick to criticize and never know all the facts. We live in a difficult ward and our bishop always seems so tired.

Reply
Erin link
8/5/2010 07:23:42 am

Bishops are people too! What a great post.

Reply

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